Exhibit A
ALL I CAN SEE WHEN I LOOK AT IT IS DILUTED BLOOD COLORS
ERIDAN, NEPETA, TAVROS, VRISKA
IT’S ALL I CAN SEE
GUYS
GAMZEE’S MISSING AND HAS THE BODIES
IS THERE BLOOD IN THAT COFFEE OR HAVE I BEEN WATCHING TOO MANY HORROR MOVIES ON NETFLIX?
i accidentally sadstuck
I got a Tablet for my Birthday, which was a total surprise. I’m always doodling, but I’m rather shitty at it. But I’ve been having a lot of fun futzing around with it. :D
And I’ve always wanted to see one of those picture comics with lyrics or something, except with this quote from ‘Firefly’. It’s from ‘The Message’
‘They say when you can’t walk anymore, you crawl, and when you can’t do that, you find someone to carry you.’
sob my friends
are so great
I CAN’T BREATHE
HE TOOK LIKE, FIVE MINUTES IN BETWEEN EACH RESPONSE
AND THEN
AIR
WHEN KARKAT STOLE GRISTMAS
(Magnificent BB Nepeta with cup of cold milk done by my dear friend Emily!! Go follow her!! )So about a month ago I decided that for Christmas I was going to rewrite The Grinch Who Stole Christmas as ‘The Karkat Who Stole Gristmas’.
Happy Gristmas, everyone. :D Voices all done by me in one fell swoop. I don’t own Homestuck, and I do not own The Grinch.
It can also be listened to/downloaded over here.
WRITTEN OUT
Every Troll down in Trollville like Gristmas a lot,
But Karkat, who lived just north of Trollville, did not!
Karkat hated Gristmas, the whole Gristmas session!
Now, please don’t ask why, no one quite knows the reason.
It could be that his beatpump wasn’t plugged in just right,
It could be, perhaps, that his sweater was too tight,
But I think that the most likely reason of all,
May have been that his pants were two sizes too small.
Whatever the reason, his pants or his beatpump,
He stood there on Gristmas Eve, hating those chumps,
Staring down from his hive with a sour, nubby frown,
At the warm lighted hiveportals below in their town.
For he knew every Troll down in Trollville beneath,
Was busy now, hanging a Build Grist Wreath,
“AND THEY’RE HANGING THEIR FUCKING PORKHOLLOWS!” he snarled with a sneer,
“TOMORROW IS GRISTMAS, IT’S PRACTICALLY FUCKING HERE!”
Then he growled, with his grey fingers nervously drumming,
“I MUST FIND SOME FUCKING WAY TO STOP GRISTMAS FROM COMING!”
For tomorrow, he knew, all the Troll Girls and Boys,
Would wake dark and late, they’d rush for their toys!
And then… oh the noise! oh the noise!
Fucking noise noise noise!
That’s one thing he hated! THE FUCKING NOISE!
NOISE FUCKING NOISE NOISE!
Then the Trolls, young and old, would sit down to a feast,
And they’d feast, and they’d feast, and they’d FEAST!
FEAST FUCKING FEAST FEAST!
They would feast on Grub-Pudding, and rare roast Hoofbeast!
Which was something Karkat couldn’t stand in the least!
And THEN they’d do something he liked least of all!
Every Troll down in Trollville, the tall and the small,
Would stand close together, with Gristmas bells ringing.
They’d stand hand-in hand, and the Trolls would start singing.
They’d sing, and they’d sing, and they’d SING!
FUCKING SING SING SING!
And the more Karkat thought of this Trolls Gristmas Sing,
The more Karkat thought, “I MUST STOP THIS WHOLE FUCKING THING!”
“WHY, FOR SIX FUCKING SWEEPS I’VE PUT UP WITH IT NOW!”
“I MUST STOP THIS GRISTMAS FROM COMING… BUT HOW?”
Then he got an idea. An AWFUL idea!
KARKAT GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA.
“I KNOW JUST WHAT TO DO!” Karkat laughed in his throat.
And he made a quick God Tier hood and a coat,
And he chuckled and clucked, and said with a sneer,
“WITH THIS COAT AND THIS HOOD, I’LL LOOK JUST LIKE I’M GOD TIER!!”
“ALL I NEED IS A WAY TO GET THERE,” Karkat looked around.
Since cars on Alternia are scarce, there was no way to be found.
Did that stop old Karkat? No! Karkat simply said,
“IF I CAN’T FIND A FUCKING MOUNT, I’LL MAKE ONE INSTEAD.”
So he called his crabdad, then he took some grey thread,
And he put a big harness on the back of his head.
THEN he loaded some bags, and some empty old sacks,
on a ramshackle sled and he hitched up that fuckass,
Then Karkat said, “HURRY THE FUCK UP!” and the sleigh started down,
Toward the hives where the Trolls lay asnooze in their town.
All their hiveportals were dark, quiet snow filled the air.
All the Trolls were all dreaming Prospit or Derse dreams without care.
When he came to the first little hive on the square,
“THIS IS STOP NUMBER FUCKING ONE,” the old Karkat hissed,
and he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist.
Then he slid down the firechute, a rather rough task,
But if the Witch of Space could do it, so could Karkat.
He got stuck only once, for a moment or two,
Then he stuck his head out of the firechute flue.
Where the little Troll porkhollows sat in a row.
“THESE PORKHOLLOWS,” he grinned. “ARE THE FIRST THINGS TO GO!’
Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant,
Around the whole room, and he took every present!
Specibi! Rocket packs! Fruit Gushers! And shades!
Chess boards! Flying cars! Cake mix! And blades!
And he stuffed them in bags. Then Karkat, very mad,
Threw all the bags, one by one, to his Crabdad.
Then he slunk to the thermal hull, he took the Trolls feast!
He took the Grub Pudding! He took the roast hoofbeast!
He cleaned out that thermal hull as quick as a flash!
Why Karkat even took the last can of Troll-Hash!
Then he threw all the food on the sleigh with glee,
“AND NOW!” sneered Karkat, “I WILL THROW OUT THE FUCKING TREE!”
And Karkat grabbed the tree in both hands with a GRRR,
When he heard a small sound like a mew and a purr.
He turned around fast, and he saw a small Troll!
It was Little Nepeta Leijon, with a look oh so droll.
Karkat had been caught by this stupid Troll ilk,
Who’d got out of recooperacoon for a cup of cold Milk.
She stared at Karkat and said, “:33< knight of blood why”
“:33< why are you taking out gristmas tree? why?”
But you know, that Karkat was so smart and so slick,
He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!
“WHY, MY SWEET LITTLE GRUB,” the fake God Tier lied,
“THERE’S A LIGHT ON THIS FUCKING THING THAT WON’T LIGHT ON ONE BULGE INFESTED SIDE!”
“SO I’M TAKING IT BACK TO MY GOD HIVE, MY DEAR,”
“I’LL FIX IT UP THERE, THEN I’LL FUCKING BRING IT BACK HERE.”
And his fib fooled the grub. Then he scritched at her cheek,
And he got her a drink and he sent her to sleep.
And when Nepeta Leijon was asleep with her cup,
He went to the firechute, and stuffed the tree up.
Then the last thing he took was the log for their fire.
On their walls he left nothing but hooks and some wire.
And the one speck of food that he left in the hive,
Was a crumb too small for even a Squeakbeast to survive.
Then he did the same thing to the other Trolls feasts!
Leaving crumbs much too small for the other Trolls Squeakbeasts!
It was quarter past sunset, all the Trolls still a-bed,
And the Trolls, still a snoooze, when he packed up his sled,
Packed it with their presents! The ribbons! The Wrappings!
The tags and the tinsel! The trimmings and trappings!
Three thousand feet up, up the side of mount Fuckit!
He rode with his load to the tiptop to dump it.
“FUCK YOU, TO THE TROLLS,” he was nub-ishly humming,
“THEY’RE FUCKING FINDING OUT NOW THAT NO GRISTMAS IS COMING!”
“THEY’RE JUST WAKING UP, I KNOW JUST WHAT THEY’LL FUCKING DO!”
“THEIR MOUTHS WILL HANG OPEN FOR A FUCKING MINUTE OR TWO,
THEY THOSE TROLLS DOWN IN TROLLVILLE WITH ALL CRY BOO-FUCKING-HOO!”
“THAT’S A NOISE,” sneered Karkat, “THAT I SIMPLY MUST FUCKING HEAR.”
And he did hear a sound rising over the snow.
It started in low, but then it started to grow.
But the sound wasn’t sad! This sound sounded really fucking merry!
It couldn’t be fucking so! But it was merry! Very!
He stared down at Trollville! Karkat popped his eyes.
Then he shook! What he saw was a shocking surprise!
Every Troll down in Trollville, the tall and the small,
was SINGING! Without any fucking grist at all!
He HADN’T stopped Gristmas from coming! IT FUCKING CAME!
Somehow or another, it came JUST THE FUCKING SAME!
And Karkat, with his tallpants ice-cold in the snow,
stood puzzling and puzzling: “HOW COULD IT BE SO?”
“IT CAME WITHOUT SHALE! IT CAME WITHOUT CAULK!
IT CAME WITHOUT BUILDGRIST, DIAMOND, AND CHALK!”
And he puzzled three hours, ‘til his horns were all sore,
Then Karkat thought of something, he hadn’t before.
“MAYBE GRISTMAS,” he thought. “DOESN’T COME FROM THE GAME.”
“MAYBE GRISTMAS, PERHAPS, ISN’T QUITE SO FUCKING INSANE.”
And what happened then? Well, in Trollville they say,
That Karkat’s small pants grew three sizes that day!
And the minute his pants didn’t feel quite so tight,
He whizzed with that Gristcache through the dim evening light,
And he brought back the grist! And the food for the feast!
And he, HE HIMSELF! Karkat carved the roast hoofbeast.
WHEN KARKAT STOLE GRISTMAS
(Magnificent BB Nepeta with cup of cold milk done by my dear friend Emily!! Go follow her!! )
So about a month ago I decided that for Christmas I was going to rewrite The Grinch Who Stole Christmas as ‘The Karkat Who Stole Gristmas’.
Happy Gristmas, everyone. :D Voices all done by me in one fell swoop. I don’t own Homestuck, and I do not own The Grinch.
It can also be listened to/downloaded over here.
WRITTEN OUT BENEATH THE CUT
Such scandal.
So. I wrote a Sadstuck Nepeta monologue.
And then I voiced it.
IDK how my voice got that high. It doesn’t even sound like me.
I joined a Homestuck RP group, and the only characters we’re missing are Rose and a couple of others who I can’t remember right now.
ANYWAY IF you want watch Nepeta awkwardly try and woo Karkat~
http://arsenicandcatnip.tumblr.com
for the shenanigans. Also my dear friend Arioselarcenist is playing a GREAT Equius over there as well. :D
I did that Google voice search thing everybody is doing.
My favorite is Terezi.
I also did the kids and I’m laughing so hard at John Denver.
oh my fuck i love this so hard
